I am so lonely . I am so tried, I am so tried of everything even though I don't do nothing all day along . I just sit at one corner and think, why am I was bored ?, I don't have any talent; no talent at all- have you ever met a person who has absolutely ineptitude . I am a very boring person, who has nothing to talk about . I pretend in social media that my life is perfect . I am tried of lieing sometimes when people ask me that" In which class are you dear " I just want to scream that " I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL! ITS BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW A SCHOOL BUILDING, I JUST SIT AT HOME AND DO NOTHING! " But these words stop at the tip of my tongue, and I just politely give a pseudo-smile and reply.
Sometimes I want to die, I even tried to commit suicide 3 times but I am so stubborn that I didn't die . I don't have any friends expect one which I only meet once in 2 months. I can't open up to anyone. I have lost my social skills .I used to make friends so quickly, but now I am afraid talking to people. I have broken into pices like a broken glass.
It all started in August 23 2015, when my dad came back from work and called us at the living room when he told us we are going to immigrate to England , going to start the process, I saw my mother's eyes they where full of hope and happiness . After when everyone was told to leave , I was the only one who was left in that big room . My dad came close and holded my hand,and said to me in the sweetest tone he ever spoke with me he said to me " Honey, in this whole process you will be doing the most work " I said to my dad what then he reply to me in the most unwanted sentences that I wish he would have never said . " You have to stay at home until some answer comes from the home office of England " I was in shock , I really wanted to start crying but I thought most probably it will only take 3 months so I said ok . When school started my brother went to school and this was kept a sercert from me .I was really broken when I found out . I can't trust my parents anymore. I am so alone that I talk to myself, sometimes I think that I am crazy, I cry alone . It isn't that I haven't cried infornt of my mom,but she said " Be brave "
Sometimes I want to die, I even tried to commit suicide 3 times but I am so stubborn that I didn't die . I don't have any friends expect one which I only meet once in 2 months. I can't open up to anyone. I have lost my social skills .I used to make friends so quickly, but now I am afraid talking to people. I have broken into pices like a broken glass.
It all started in August 23 2015, when my dad came back from work and called us at the living room when he told us we are going to immigrate to England , going to start the process, I saw my mother's eyes they where full of hope and happiness . After when everyone was told to leave , I was the only one who was left in that big room . My dad came close and holded my hand,and said to me in the sweetest tone he ever spoke with me he said to me " Honey, in this whole process you will be doing the most work " I said to my dad what then he reply to me in the most unwanted sentences that I wish he would have never said . " You have to stay at home until some answer comes from the home office of England " I was in shock , I really wanted to start crying but I thought most probably it will only take 3 months so I said ok . When school started my brother went to school and this was kept a sercert from me .I was really broken when I found out . I can't trust my parents anymore. I am so alone that I talk to myself, sometimes I think that I am crazy, I cry alone . It isn't that I haven't cried infornt of my mom,but she said " Be brave "
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